Regrettably, I haven’t seen a single movie that’s been nominated for this year’s 90th Academy Awards.  Even so, I love a good awards show.  I vividly remember coming home early from my waitressing job four years ago, sitting on my couch in my first New York apartment, and watching as John Travolta called Idina Menzel “Adele Dazeem.”  It was brilliantly horrifying, and I got to watch it live.

I also live for the live-tweeting on Twitter that occurs during awards shows; from friends, celebrities, even people I don’t know.  Since I’m not on social media this month, I decided to share my Academy Award Musings.

There needs to be a Barbie modeled after Viola Davis IN THAT HOT PINK DRESS HELLO.

Sam Rockwell, you will not be winning the jetski, sir.

Taraji, you are my queen, those legs are OUT.

I literally cannot wait for “Splitting Up Together.” Jenna Fischer is a damn goddess.

Allison Janney deserves all the nominations because she is sheer BRILLIANCE.

Jimmy Kimmel is not 50.

THERE IS A BB8 ON STAGE WHERE CAN I MEET HIM?

Could Matthew McConaughey be any less animated on this stage right now?

The oscar nominees holding the hotdog cannons in the movie theatre may be a close second to Ellen’s 2014 selfie.

Jennifer Garner will never age nor be less than radiant always.

The recognition of women tonight is outstanding and overwhelming. Yes yes yes Frances McDormand. Yes all women.

I knew they would bring Warren and Faye back for Round 2.